There’s nothing like the feeling you get after you’ve overexplained something to no end.

Whether you’re justifying your actions to a friend, colleague or partner, we’re often left with a sense of regret as the words spill out of our mouths quicker than we’d like to remember, often sharing more than maybe we ought to.

So why do we do it?

According to therapist Bobbi Banks, there are numerous reasons why we might overexplain, with the licensed coach sharing a few ways in particular.

According to Banks, overexplaining can be a trauma response and can develop as a result of gaslighting. She adds that anxiety or ADHD can also lead to overexplaining and it can happen to those who grew up with a strict upbringing where “you had to justify your choices”.

Mental health: how to stop being an overexplainer, according to a therapist