Being a woman is tough. Being a woman with some form of neurodivergence is even tougher. It’s not surprising that many of us find our self-esteem takes a serious hit.

“By age 12, children who have ADHD are estimated to have 20,000 more negative messages from adults than their non-ADHD peers,” Leanne Maskell, an ADHD coach and author, tells Stylist. “Being neurodivergent means our brains work differently to ‘most’ people, which can be very lonely. The 30% developmental delay in executive functioning skills linked with ADHD means we may know what to do, but we just can’t do it, which can leave us feeling stupid and lazy.

”Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (extremely intense emotional pain at real or perceived rejection) can also manifest in our daily lives as people-pleasing, procrastinating and holding ourselves back. Unsurprisingly, people with ADHD suffer from low self-esteem, with an inner monologue that’s constantly telling us how we’re both too much and not enough.”

Constant braying from an inner critic can have a ruinous impact on our mental health. Research has found that one in four women with ADHD have attempted suicide. Receiving a diagnosis and professional treatment is, of course, an essential part of tackling this (which makes lengthy waiting lists and the toxic conversation around ADHD being a ‘trend’ especially devastating), but there are also tools we can all use on an individual level to navigate the ADHD and poor self-esteem link.

Ahead, Maskell shares three essential steps for those with ADHD to bolster their self-esteem.

How to navigate low self-esteem when you have ADHD – and why it’s so common