Inner consent

Self-loss can lead to lack of inner consent. ‘Inner consent’ is a term in existential analysis, a fancy way of saying agreement or permission for the way we are choosing to use our human freedom and live our life.

When we experience self-loss, we often don’t participate with intention or discernment, and, as a result, we struggle to defend or accept not just our circumstances, consequences, or responsibilities, but who we are.

Inner consent is our willingness to say yes to life – saying yes to our thoughts, values, emotionality, who we are, what matters to us, our convictions, our personal uniqueness, our attitude, our purpose. It is the practice of tuning in and evaluating whether something aligns or is in harmony with who we understand our Self to be.

Giving inner consent is a necessary, ongoing practice because our existence happens as an accumulation of instances. It’s not enough to just give our consent to a few big, life-altering decisions or events. If we don’t consent to life incrementally, it may be more difficult to consent to the life we are living as a whole. When we give our inner consent, life stops happening to us. Instead it becomes something for us, to shape as we’d like. Inner consent is an empowered stance.

Sometimes, saying yes actually means saying no. Bear with me. Sometimes, in order to say yes to our values, beliefs, wants, thoughts, or feelings, we have to say no to certain invitations, people, jobs, relationships, opinions, and worldviews. Saying yes to life is saying yes to taking responsibility for how we exist; it’s not about agreeing to do everything we are offered or asked to do.

Inner consent is felt rather than merely thought, it’s a deep sense of resonance—a feeling of ‘rightness’. It is an affirming experience that allows us to fully show up, stand our ground, and express our Self. It is a feeling of complete agreement with our actions and who we perceive our Self to be. There is no inner consent without a clear idea of who we are. And, without inner consent, there is no authenticity or fulfilment.

Are you experiencing ‘self-loss’? Here are 5 ways it can show up