The truth is, we all have red flags, and highlighting them isn’t about scolding ourselves for being complex human beings. It’s about identifying the things we want to work on and taking positive action. But that doesn’t make it easy.

“It can be really hard to be open to getting things wrong,” Jordan Vyas-Lee, a psychotherapist, tells Stylist. “So much about our life is based on competition and being right, even from when we’re at school, so it’s a big shift to make to being vulnerable and honest about your shortcomings.”

As Dr Vyas-Lee explains, it’s pretty normal to exhibit multiple low-level red flags. There are multiple degrees of bad behaviour: major red flags that are non-negotiable and cause the most harm and lesser red flags that might be more forgivable. Intention plays a huge part in this too. After all, knowingly talking down to someone in order to rock their confidence is very, very different to letting a few choice words slip out in an argument.

“Ultimately, everyone gets things wrong and everyone is looking out for themselves as a survival instinct,” he says, although many of our red flags can be traced back to our childhood experiences, where we may have created damaging responses to feelings of neglect, insecurity or isolation.

“Wait, what if I’m the red flag in my relationships?”