Processing is important – just not always immediate

“I had a mentor once who used to actually wring out her hands if she’d been talking about something really heavy and intense, to help her process things. My techniques depend on the client and the material: I’m always doodling, so I’ll sometimes draw pictures inspired by the general topics that have come up in sessions, often with little cartoon people. It’s nothing too revealing, but I’m definitely downloading something from the work. If a session has been really upsetting and needs to be dealt with – for example, if a client is recounting something particularly traumatic – the short gap I have between clients often won’t be enough, so I’ll put time aside later in the day to write up some notes about it to help me reflect.”

‘Do new things’ is great advice, but I make sure they’re indulgent and easy

“I’m always fighting zombie mode, which is what I call being on autopilot – just going from one thing to the next. It’s bad for therapy because it makes me feel like I can predict how conversations are going to go, rather than being open to what my client has to say, so during my day, often at lunch, I’ll try to do something spontaneous. But I set the bar low. Going swimming in the ponds on Hampstead Heath was on my list for years – I’d attempt and fail to do it every time. Now, it’s things like browsing in a new shop or trying a new skincare tool: very indulgent and low-pressure, because otherwise I wouldn’t do it and feel bad about it.”

Supervision is a psychotherapists’ lesser-known lifeline

“Supervision is where therapists go to get support with their caseload from another qualified therapist. There isn’t a set structure, but we’ll talk about how my work is going and discuss anything I’m finding hard – whether it’s a personal situation that’s impacting my work or a client I want to discuss with someone else who’s qualified. My supervisor is a 10-minute walk away from me, and going there is a ritualised, joyful thing.

“Having a space where I can talk about what’s going on is really helpful: it’s not psychotherapy per se, but it’s definitely therapeutic. Sometimes, it’s just about acknowledging that a client is really struggling and have someone else be aware of it. I’m often asked if I end up feeling the weight of other people’s stories. It’s not that I don’t think about my clients, but having this space where I can say anything spares me from feeling like I have to hold it all in.”

Everything a therapist does between sessions