Dates. We’ve all been on a bloody few that would make some battles in history look like child’s play.
Yet somehow, some people have managed to surpass even the most cringeworthy tales of rude morons and painful awkward silences – by ending up in the accident and emergency room on their very first date.
Yes, you read it correctly. Using the social media platform Whisper, a group of daters gathered to share their tales of dating disasters ending so dramatically that they had to take a trip to the hospital.
The responses range from absolute comedy gold to making one wonder if humans should ever be allowed to experience nice things.
“On my first date I broke my arm diving for a chicken nugget that my date dropped. I was trying to impress her. Instead she had to take me to the ER,” said one fast-food aficionado.
“One first date the guy fainted,” added another confessor.
“I had to drive him to the hospital to get stitches. Then we had our first kiss on the hospital bed,” they added. N’aw.
“I fell down the front steps on the way to my date’s car and broke my ankle. We spent our first date in hospital,” added another contributor.
Although some tales read as if the physical pain was almost worth it, some of them should be forever confined to the fiery depths of hell.
“My first date in months sent me to the hospital because he injected me with his epi-pen after I started coughing,” said one person.
“I have no food allergies. Then he left me there to go and meet his wife. Ugh.”
“The first date I ever had I got too excited and started jumping,” wrote one contributor.
“I fell, twisted my ankle, and he carried me to ER to get an x-ray.” Ouch.
We salute these plucky daters for putting their hearts, limbs and non-existent allergies on the line for the sake of a snog. After all, the true course of love never did run smooth.
Here are the five worst tales of woe from the Whisper list of dating disasters:
1. My first date with this guy he drove his car into a phone pole when he wasn’t paying attention. We spent the night in ER – I got injured, not him, and his family blamed me for everything.
2. He had to take me to the ER because I went to his apartment not knowing he had cats. I’m deathly allergic.
3. The guy showed up to our first date, barfed and had to be taken to hospital for alcohol poisoning. I sat in the front seat of the ambulance. No second date.
4. My ex-wife pushed her arm through a glass door on our first date. Spending the night at a hospital and explaining to her dad why she was all cut up wasn’t very fun.
5. We ended up in ER because he was allergic to my lipstick. I learned to stick with lipgloss after that.
Photos: Rex Features