Life

Bake Off 2019: 29 thoughts I had while watching the GBBO final

Posted by
Helen Bownass
Published

As the contestants grace the tent for the final ever time, here’s our reaction. Warning spoilers ahead. 

1. Well here we are again: another summer officially over and dead! If I was ever in denial (and I am) that we’re in full throttle Autumn, the arrival of the Bake Off final bursts that bubble.

2. Would like to commit it to the internet that I think Steph will win.

3. Remember that Bake Off final where they all had to cook on a campfire? Why did they do that? It was fun anyway.

4. I wonder how competitive I’d be in a Bake Off final? And the answer is: obviously the most flustered human on the planet, with every emotion falling off my face.

5. The Ultimate Chocolate Cake. Obviously you’d make the cake from Matilda that Bruce Bogtrotter devoured no?

6. I’m glad they’re making them making them make a cake too. Not any sort of box. No one wants to eat a box.

7. Brilliant. I love the bit where they go home for a visit and you get to see their family being proud and emotional . 

GBBO: Noel Fielding and Steph Blackwell

8. Steph describing herself as having: Resting Misery Face is all of us as teenagers pre-social media.

9. Oh David, you lovely nurse helping the world.

10. And your  double-handed stir is a pro move.

11. Do they all have their own runner hiding off to the side? To get whatever they want? The dream.

12. How do you do that dripping cake effect Alice has done? Literally just drip it?

13. It is a Black Forest gateau Prue!

14. I don’t think I’ve ever actually eaten a soufflé. It’s one of those mythical food things. What’s the texture? Like a delicious wet sponge cake? Might add it to my pre-40 bucket list. 

GBBO: Noel Fielding and Alice Fevronia

15. At least I’ve made a roux, Alice…

16. Oh Steph, love. Its going to be okay! It always is.

17. A basket made of things that don’t look like they taste. I have no idea what’s about to happen but bring it on!

18. Just wish that Alice’s parents had got their flight back last night, leaving it until this morning was very risky!

19. That messy kitchen makes feel like I’m having a heart attack.

20. David’s ever-calm demeanour is what I’m going to channel next time I’m having one of my bi-daily meltdowns.

21. I wonder if I’ll ever again see a peach, even a fake one, and not think of Call Me By Your Name

GBBO: David Atherton

22. Okay, David might win. And I’m really good about it.

23. But it’s not good because Steph looks so sad. It’s watching a puppy get kicked! Just get this heartbreak over with…

24. This is a surprising lesson for me to remember how wrong things can go when panic takes over.

25. Irrelevant, but am obsessed with David’s partner short shorts and sandal combo.

26. Hurrah David. Deserved and also it proves (my mid-point switch) correct.

28. That bouquet of flowers he’s won is very nice too!

29. “I was always the underdog but managed to get through”. That’s how I felt throughout school David! And now look where you are. Well, who knew this final would make me both emotional and reflective… 

The Great British Bake Off is on All4

Images: Channel 4