After the majority of the country decided to vote Brexit, the powers above decided that we aren’t allowed to have nice things anymore. As such, Channel 4 has poached our beloved Bake Off from the BBC – and Mary Berry, Mel Giedroyc, and Sue Perkins will all be replaced by brand new faces.
However, in a bid to ease our aching hearts, the BBC have vowed to give the show a very merry send-off indeed; they’re going to have Mary, Mel and Sue reunite with Paul Hollywood for one last time in The Great Christmas Bake Off.
For two blissful episodes, our troubles will be miles away as we delve headfirst into the Bake Off tent for some festive, floury fun.
And, as if that weren’t enough, the BBC have looked to Charles Dickens for inspiration and called in the ghosts contestants of GBBO series past, to compete all over again in front of Yule Hollywood and Merry Berry.
A total of eight bakers will return across the two specials, each desperately trying to avoid being dubbed a ‘soggy bottom’ as they compete to be crowned the new festive Bake Off champion.
While most of the names are being kept a secret for the time being, The Sun have confirmed that series three star Cathryn Dresser is set to bring some serious “fridge and pray” back to the tent.
Howard Middleton, who was voted out in the sixth week of the fourth series, will also be returning – and we can only hope that the beloved baker attracts as much trouble as he did the first time around. Remember #custardgate?
Speaking about the show, the BBC said: “As ever, the Christmas elves, Mel and Sue, will be spreading Christmas cheer throughout the tent, until, of course, the judging, where it’s business as usual for Paul ‘Scrooge’ Hollywood and ‘Merry’ Mary Berry as they decide which of the four will be winner of The Great Christmas Bake Off.”
Meanwhile Richard McKerrow, the Creative Director of Love Productions, added: “We’re excited to announce that there will be two specials of The Great Christmas Bake Off.
“What could be a better Christmas gift than welcoming back past bakers for a fun-filled festive Bake Off?”
Read more: The greatest quotes from Mel and Sue
Or, to paraphrase a crooning Frank Sinatra, Christmas will allow “faithful friends who are dear to us, to gather near to us once more.”
But only once.
The Great Christmas Bake Off will only be able to suspend reality for a few blissful hours – and, come 2017, we will be forced to face up to the fact that, yes, things are changing.
For now, let’s have ourselves a Mary Berry Christmas, make the yuletide gay, and gather round our tellies as in happy golden days of yore.
And try not to cry – tears will only increase your chance of a (sob) soggy bottom.