Let’s be frank: we’ve all cried tears of rage, exhaustion or frustration in the toilet cubicles at work. And yet the vast majority of women would sooner reveal details about their sex life to co-workers than expose our true emotions in front of them.

As the first generation of women to enjoy an equality of sorts with men in the workplace, indulging in the supposedly feminine trait of being over-emotional negates the idea that we stand on an even platform.

Just ask Martha Stewart, business superwoman and head of an $638 million dollar company, who blasted an emotional female contestant during an episode of The Apprentice in America. “Cry and you’re out of here. Women in business don’t cry my dear.” Society dictates that we’re supposed to put on a different mask at work – well-up or show vulnerability when a colleague criticises a project you’ve spent weeks honing and you undermine your professionalism, especially in front of men. It may be 2011 now but most women still believe they operate in what Dr Gail Kinman, professor of occupational health psychology at the University of Bedfordshire, describes as “macho work cultures that tend to denigrate any display of emotion.”

And it’s not just a feeling; women are judged when their mask slips. A recent study found that women who showed anger during meetings were more likely to be deemed “out of control” and “a bad employee” than men who let their frustrations show in the same way. For men, emotion was seen as a justifiable response, not a character flaw. Although interestingly it’s actually women who are often the harshest critics of people who display emotion in the workplace – a recent US survey found that 43% of women (compared to 32% of men) consider people who cry at work “unstable”.

However, despite preconceptions about letting loose at work, maintaining professional composure could actually be detrimental to both your health and your performance. Dr Sandi Mann, senior lecturer in occupational psychology at the University of Lancashire, describes this workplacebased restriction of feelings as “emotional labour”. “The effort it takes to fake or hide emotions can be compared to physical labour and it causes huge mental stress – it can make you lose your sense of identity, as if your employer ‘owns’ your emotions.”

Big girls don't cry