“I’m on the brink. I’m going to have a meltdown. There’s just too much on.”

This is an example of a message I’ve sent to my boss on multiple occasions. The response to my panic is nearly always the same: write a big list of everything on your plate, then work out which things you can do right now, which you can drop, which you can delay, and which you can delegate. Usually I can do the first parts of that no bother. I can reply to that email in under a minute. Do! No one actually cares if I make this spreadsheet look amazing. Drop! That deadline isn’t for ages, now I think of it. Delay! But it’s the fourth ‘D’ where I stumble.

I can’t be the only one who, when faced with the prospect of delegation, has an immediate spiral of worries and questions. Won’t everyone think I’m being lazy? Am I ‘allowed’ to just pass work on to someone else? What if the person I delegate to doesn’t do as good a job as I would? What if they hate me? How do you even go about delegating, anyway?

Fear of delegation (FOD, if you will) is a very real thing. Chris Hirst, an expert in leadership and the author of No Bullsh*t Leadership and upcoming book Indispensable: The No Bullsh*t Guide To Thriving At Work, says our discomfort with delegation comes down to three things: trust, guilt and insecurity. “People lack trust in those who work for them, fear losing control and worry about how well key tasks will be done if they hand them on,” he explains. “They feel awkward of even guilty about passing work on (especially to people who are already busy). Delegating too many tasks (or important tasks) makes people worry about their own position and that they may be replaced.”

How to delegate effectively at work (a guide for people-pleasers and perfectionists)