Turning negative jealousy into positive action

Ansari’s story shows how jealousy can be transformed into a positive force. Some researchers have suggested that envy can be divided into two distinct categories: malevolent and benign. Malevolent jealousy is when you “have admiration for someone, but you also secretly hope something bad happens to them”, explains Sarah Vermunt, author and founder of career coaching company Careergasm, adding: “It’s not great to feel like you hope a colleague trips up the stairs.” Benign jealousy, in contrast, can be productive and motivate us to improve ourselves, whether by pushing us to apply for that dream role, rethink our approaches to our careers or even prompting a change of industry.

So how can we transform the nasty, painful type of jealousy into the inspiring kind? First of all, recognise that “we’re probably always going to start with malevolent jealousy”, says Vermunt. But when you next get that feeling – which, for Vermunt, has a “fiery, spikey, and constrictive” quality – see it as an invitation for introspection.

“There’s an exercise I do with my clients, where I ask them to list three people that they are jealous of and three people that they admire,” says Vermunt. A “common theme” usually emerges between these people: for example, you might notice that your six people are connected by having a job that helps others or that sees them paid properly for their creativity. Whatever the common thread, this can be the “clue” to what you want deep down for your own career.

Why does professional jealousy feel so shameful?