Dealing with a difficult colleague: a step-by-step guide

If you find yourself in a situation where you’re struggling to work with someone, Jacobs recommends going through the following steps:

1. Identification

Colleague clashes can occur for a wide range of reasons. Before you decide how you’re going to deal with the issue, it’s important to understand why the clash is happening.

“Start by figuring out what’s causing the tension,” she says. “Is it a personality clash, a difference in work styles, or a conflict in values?”

2. Direct communication

Depending on the issue, it’s usually best to have an open conversation with the other person about what is making working with them impossible.

“Initiate a respectful and open-minded conversation with your colleague about the problem,” she says. “This could help clear misunderstandings and set the stage for better cooperation. For example, you might say something like, ‘I’ve noticed that our work styles are quite different. I think we could work together more effectively if we found a balance between planning and improvising. What do you think?’”

Of course, use your judgment. If the issue is something that you really can’t bring up to the other person or it’s something you don’t feel comfortable raising with them, skip ahead to the next step.

Have a colleague that you just can’t work with? Here’s a career coach’s guide to dealing with it