Another explains: “Whenever I tell my friend that I’m planning on doing something – be it buying a dress or booking a trip to Australia – she makes sure she does it first. She earns more than me, so can usually make it happen. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t want to tell her my dreams, because I know if I do she’ll make sure I get them second-hand.”

And one more says: “I’ve definitely noticed myself comparing my position to the accomplishment of a couple of my friends instinctively, and then subconsciously feeling like I need to prove my worth, that I’m moving at the same pace or am deserving of being on their level, if that makes sense? If I see a friend of mine has reached a certain career milestone, like writing a book for example, I feel this urge to take something on or find something to prove that I can do the same thing.”

The psychological benefits of a competitive friendship

Researchers at the University of North Carolina paired up a group of undergraduates and had them send questions via instant message to one another: half of these were written to encourage, and the other half to undermine the recipient.

‘Frenemies’ (or, to use the scientific term, ‘ambivalent relationship) established, students were then told to edit an error-filled blog post that they were told had been written by their new friend or frenemy (but was actually created by the researchers).

Those who had been dubbed ‘frenemies’ proved to be far better at editing mistakes than those who were simply friendly – and, strangely, were also revealed to feel more empathy towards their partners, too.

Comparison culture: how to recognise (and deal with) a competitive friendship