Instead of saying: “I scrolled aimlessly through Instagram”

Say: “I visited the world’s largest image gallery and perused the many exhibits on display, in order to gather inspiration for the interior design of my future home, outfits I will wear once I can go outside again, and cakes I will bake once I can actually buy flour and eggs.”

Instead of saying: “I ate all my quarantine snacks in one sitting”

Say: “I struggled in vain to curb my innermost desires, but alas! I am only human, and some temptations cannot be resisted.”

Instead of saying: “I played video games for a bit”

Say: “I used an innovative software system to test my mental and physical reflexes, not to mention my decision-making.”

Coronavirus lockdown: 14 brilliant ways to respond when someone asks what you did last night