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Mother’s Day: why you shouldn’t feel guilty about not seeing your mum

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Hollie Richardson
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Celebrating Mother's Day during coronavirus.

As we take to self-isolating during the coronavirus pandemic, lots of families won’t be celebrating Mother’s Day the way they want to this year. Here are the alternative ways that Stylist team members will be thanking their mums.

How are you meant to celebrate Mother’s Day when we’re all self-isolating? Usually, many of us make the journey home to give presents to our mums and attend family meals. But, thanks to the coronavirus pandemic, it’s just not possible to do that this year. This can carry a lot of guilt, frustration and sadness. At a time when we want the comfort of our families more than ever, it’s difficult to accept that, in a lot of cases, the best thing we can do is keep our distance from them

So it might be comforting for you to know that we’re all feeling this mix of emotions about Mother’s Day this year. Here, Stylist team members share their real feelings about everything that’s happening, along with the alternative plans they are making to celebrate mum. 

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Kayleigh Dray, digital editor-at-large

We were supposed to be taking my mum and my nan out to the pub, but obviously that’s off. My nan keeps pointing out she looks younger than 73 so can still go out, and that’s true: she looks great (gimme those genes!). But it’s not people she’s trying to fool: it’s the virus. My mum has an underlying lung condition, but I’ve been social distancing for two weeks and she’s been working in a school, so I think it’s fine to drive over and have a takeaway or something with her in her own home. Right? Otherwise… well, we’re a close family anyway and this isn’t the one day I see her a year. We will just Zoom and rearrange for later in this year, when hopefully this is all over!

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Chloe Gray, editorial assistant

Pre-coronavirus, I had plans to go home on Saturday and spend Sunday with my mum and grandparents. My grandparents are high-risk so my mum suggested uninviting them (HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!), but as my mum spends a lot of time caring for them, I’m worried about infecting her (even though I don’t have the virus and have been social distancing) and them losing their shopper/cleaner/chef.

 Tom Gormer, photography and specials director

My plans sound very boring. I’ve posted her a book (£7 postage!) and I’ve sent three cards: one from me for Mother’s Day, one from my dog Rex for picking up his poo, and one from me to say stay safe. I’ll call her too, but that will be it.

Mother's Day: don't feel guilty for not seeing your mum this year.
Mother's Day: don't feel guilty for not seeing your mum this year.

Francesca Brown, books editor

There’s no way we can go near my mum – she had a bad bout of flu last September (she thinks she was corona patient zero) and we’re worried it’s left her weakened. With this in mind I’m preparing a care package (washing my hands first) which will contain some Seven Hills Italian gin and some book proofs. These will include Anne Tyler’s funny and moving new novel, Redhead By The Side Of The Road, which is all about a man who realises he’s isolating himself from life and takes a nervous chance of opening himself up to a woman who loves him. Plus How Much Of These Hills Is Gold by C Pam Zhang (which is meant to be a feminist Western with shades of early Margaret Atwood). I’m also packing in Divine chocolate bars and a shrunken cashmere jumper I accidentally put in the wash; she’ll know how to save it.

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Felicity Thistlethwaite, executive digital editor

My mum lives 100 miles away and (she won’t thank me for telling the world this) is in the at-risk category thanks to her age. We’ve decided it’s best I don’t travel to see her, as planned, this weekend for Mother’s Day but I’m very grateful my sister lives with her so she won’t be celebrating alone. It’s never been a day we’ve celebrated per se, but this year not being allowed to see her has made me want to so much more. I’ll make an effort to FaceTime her on Sunday, and I’ve already sent flowers so hopefully that fills the gap until we’re allowed to see one another again. (gulp)

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So please don’t feel guilty about not seeing your mum this year – most of us have also taken the hard decision to do the same. Just make sure you give her a call on Sunday (22 March) and order a card and/or present to be delivered if possible.

The kindest thing we can do for our parents right now is keep our distance. That way, we should get back to normal as soon as possible, and be able to make it up to them next year.

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Hollie Richardson

Hollie is a digital writer at Stylist.co.uk, mainly covering the daily news on women’s issues, politics, celebrities and entertainment. She also keeps an ear out for the best podcast episodes to share with readers. Oh, and don’t even get her started on Outlander…