As a disorganised introvert who loves to read and to work and struggles to ask for help, I avoided mums’ coffee mornings, found new depths of domestic chaos, read while breastfeeding, and left it to my closest friends to decode my guarded texts and catch me when I fell. And I scurried back to work as soon as I could, and was happy, so happy, about it.

Tories don’t become liberals, the vicious don’t become virtuous, the lazy don’t become energetic, and Love Island fans probably won’t suddenly start watching geology documentaries. Your world has changed but you are a constant.

As Ardern said, “I know, because of who I am, that I will do the job I’ve been asked to do. Nothing will change that,” and she’s right.

This myth promises: a new start! A new you! You think a juice fast was cleansing? A baby will detoxify your very soul! It’s as dangerous as any other pernicious lie. It frightens some off, and draws in others, and for all the wrong reasons.

Have a baby because you want a baby, not because you want things to change. Don’t have a baby because you don’t want a baby, not because you’re afraid of losing you. Either way, you’ll be you and absolutely good enough.

Images: Dakota Corbin / Getty Images / iStock

“Why do we believe that motherhood will fundamentally change us?”