21. What is a bassoon? I thought it was a giant horn. How would that fit in that slim case? Oh I see, it’s like a big oboe.

22. I would wear a Hillary’s guinea pig café pinny for sure. There’s a good merch opportunity.

23. “If I was walking towards you with an amputated dick in my hand you’d think I was horny.” Take that, Martin!

24. ANDREW SCOTT! What are you doing at Fleabag’s house? This is not going to end well.

25. Hey why didn’t she turn off all her lights if she was about to go out and see the nine-times-last-night man?

26. “I can’t have sex with you because I’ll fall in love with you”. Sounds like the sort of thing men on Tinder say, not priests.

27. I wonder if the priest has ever had sex before? I know he says he’s celibate but I wonder if this is really his first time?

Fleabag is on Mondays at 10.35pm on BBC One and on iPlayer. Fleabag season two will stream on Amazon Prime Video in the US from 17 May.

27 thoughts I had while watching Fleabag episode five