27 thoughts I had while watching Fleabag episode five

Posted by
Helen Bownass
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Phoebe Waller-Bridge as Fleabag

What did we make of the penultimate episode of Fleabag’s second season? Warning: spoilers ahead…

The penultimate Fleabag episode of the second season, which is to say, the penultimate Fleabag episode of all time considering the show will not be returning for a third series, ended quite literally with a bang.

Yes, the sexy priest turned up at Fleabag’s house for a conversation and, yes, the pair did more than talk. But what else happened in this episode? Well, as the BBC put it in their official plot synopsis: “Claire has a crisis and turns to Fleabag for help, whilst a familiar face makes a reappearance at the cafe. Hilary makes a friend, Martin demands answers, and Godmother and Dad’s wedding hangs in the balance.” 

What did Stylist’s entertainment director Helen Bownass make of the fifth episode of Fleabag season two? Here are her thoughts: 

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1. She’s out with the lawyer who ate the sandwich so awfully. I hope she doesn’t have sex with him…

2. Oh.

3. Ah yes, it’s the I-had-too-much-sex-last-night wide-legged walk.

4. Fleabag’s dad and Olivia Colman’s house is nice. I wonder where it is? How did her parents afford it?

5. Also, it has a double door. That is VERY posh. 

Ray Fearon and Phoebe Waller-Bridge in Fleabag

6. I bet the priest is there when she goes in.

7. And she’s correct.

8. Am enjoying Fleabag not letting the priest off the hook with his flakiness about not being able officiate the wedding.

9. Olivia Colman is about to lose her mind.

10. I really enjoy those feathery pampas plants contrasted against the bouquet. Lovely.

11. Yes O.C. you let that anger out, girl.

12. Oh Fleabag, we have all had that sit-at-a-bustop-with-your-head-in-hands hangover.

13. He’s telling her not to come to church again and I can’t cope. 

Andrew Scott in Fleabag 

14. Brilliant. Hugh Laurie is back. NO! That’s not Hugh Laurie. It’s Hugh Dennis. Sorry Hugh. 

15. Oh god. What has her sister done? I hope Claire is okay.

16. HA. It’s her hair, she’s cut it. And she sort of does look like a pencil.

17. I wonder if that’s a wig Claire is wearing or she really did cut her hair like that for the role?

18. I used to go that hairdresser! It’s Taylor Taylor on Commercial Street in East London.

19. Yes to this: “Hair is everything. We wish it wasn’t so we could think about something else for a second.”

20. “I just felt relief. I didn’t want my husband’s baby”. Wow. Women aren’t ever usually allowed to say things like that.

Phoebe Waller-Bridge filming Fleabag 

21. What is a bassoon? I thought it was a giant horn. How would that fit in that slim case? Oh I see, it’s like a big oboe.

22. I would wear a Hillary’s guinea pig café pinny for sure. There’s a good merch opportunity. 

23. “If I was walking towards you with an amputated dick in my hand you’d think I was horny.” Take that, Martin!

24. ANDREW SCOTT! What are you doing at Fleabag’s house? This is not going to end well.

25. Hey why didn’t she turn off all her lights if she was about to go out and see the nine-times-last-night man?

26. “I can’t have sex with you because I’ll fall in love with you”. Sounds like the sort of thing men on Tinder say, not priests.

27. I wonder if the priest has ever had sex before? I know he says he’s celibate but I wonder if this is really his first time? 

Fleabag is on Mondays at 10.35pm on BBC One and on iPlayer. Fleabag season two will stream on Amazon Prime Video in the US from 17 May. 

Images: BBC One 


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Helen Bownass

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