Bake Off 2019: 39 thoughts I had while watching GBBO episode 5

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Jenny Tregoning
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GBBO episode 5

The GBBO contestants went back to the Roaring 20s to make custard pies and prohibition-themed cakes. Here’s what we made of episode 5: warning, spoilers ahead…

1. Comedy cartoon dogs? Oh Noel, this might be your finest shirt yet.

2. Although not so keen on that peach colour…

3. Wait, sorry, this isn’t about Noel’s shirt choices. Back to the baking. And it’s 1920s week! Of course it is.

4. What sort of bakes did they even eat in the 20s? If there was no sourdough I’m not interested.

5. Oh, custard pies. Now I can’t stop thinking about clowns.

6. Ew clowns.

7. Unless they mean custard pies like the flaky pasteis de nata you get in Lisbon with the little sachets of cinnamon and icing sugar. Those I am very much here for.

8. No, comedy custard pies it is.

9. Maybe the episode will end with all the contestants throwing pies at Paul Hollywood? Alice is game.

GBBO 2019: Priya and Michelle work on their pastry
GBBO 2019: Priya and Michelle work on their pastry

10. Think Roaring 20s, think… sea monsters? We’re not quite following here, Helena, but we do love your mad goth bakes.

11. Innuendo alert! “Impressive domes.” And only 5 minutes in.

12. Casual namedrop from Noel there. But what was Matt Lucas dressed as? We need answers!

13. “I like a shallow tart.” Lol, Michael.

14. Bugsy Malone is a great musical. Fond memories of learning all the songs in Year 6 music class.

15. Current earworm: Fat Sam’s grand slam, speakeasy *does Charleston* 

16. Oh no! The first droppage! Stay calm Rosie, please don’t cry. Or throw everything in the bin.

17. Wow, David. Those look amazing. And a Hollywood handshake too. Nice work.

GBBO 2019: Helena prepares her vampire cake
GBBO 2019: Helena prepares her vampire cake

18. Ooh, a deep-fat fryer. Now craving chips.

19. Can you get fish and chips on Deliveroo?

20. Time for the technical challenge and this week it’s beignets soufflés, which appear to be a cross between a profiterole and a doughnut. I’m in.

21. All this splashing things in hot oil is making me nervous.

22. “It needs to be stiffer.” LOL again, Michael.

23. Aww no, now Michael is crying. Breathe, breathe it will all be OK. We believe in you!

24. I’d quite like a soothing pep talk from Noel when I’m stressed out.

25. Prue: “I wouldn’t call that sublime.” Burn.

26. And now to the showstopper. Prohibition cake? This theme is getting more tenuous with every task.

27. Red velvet is not a good cake, do we agree? Overrated.

28. Michelle is basing her cake on a hen-do in Liverpool… so will presumably be decorating it with willy straws?

GBBO 2019: David helps Michelle assemble her showstopper
GBBO 2019: David helps Michelle assemble her showstopper

29. Did Paul just say “I like pina coladas”? Now I have that earworm. 

30. It’s a four-way pina colada off! They’ve said pina colada too many times now and it doesn’t sound like real words any more.

31. Henry shops at Waitrose. No one is surprised.

32. Noel on Michael: “He’s silenced the screaming in his mind with gin.” Same.

33. Just me or do none of these cakes look particularly 1920s-y? Really hoping they go back to normal themes again next week.

34. “If you shut your eyes it’s a nice sponge cake.” Wow, Prue is taking no prisoners today.

35. And the star baker is: Steph! Two weeks in a row. BOOM.

36. Double eviction WHAAAAT?!!! This has all happened so quickly! I’ve barely had time to process it.

37. NO HELENA! But she came first in the technical? This is an outrage! And Michelle!

38. Eagerly awaiting the release of Helena’s Halloween-themed cookbook.

The Great British Bake Off is on Channel 4

Images: Channel 4

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