But how do we shift away from too much mindless chat and spark an actually good conversation? I’d suggest avoiding sitting next to ChatGPT for inspiration. When I posed the question “What should I ask to spark good conversation and avoid small talk?” it replied: “What’s something that always manages to inspire or motivate you, no matter how many times you encounter it?” Ugh. But, also: Sainsbury’s.

In the delicate dance of conversation, you don’t want to come off as weirdly overprepared as our AI friend. Asking something detailed yet generic can come across as insincere and make it seem like you’re not going to listen to the answer. While tempting, it can also be a dangerous game to ask a question that shifts the focus onto yourself. My most wicked friend suggests a simple “Guess how many people I’ve slept with in this room?” as the ultimate icebreaker. While I admire the immediate, incautious intimacy and have used it effectively in the past (nb inadvisable at family gatherings), it’s usually a safer bet to ask the person something less scandalous – and, crucially, about themselves.

It can all feel like a bit of a minefield, so to offer some wisdom, here are 10 experts in the art of conversation on what to ask and why.

Ask this question for guaranteed good conversation – 9 experts share their tips on overcoming small talk