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Netflix’s brutally honest description of Gossip Girl goes viral

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Hannah-Rose Yee
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But seriously, where is the lie? 

Because you are only a human woman living in this hellfire world, you may be considering slumping on the couch tonight and watching Gossip Girl on Netflix.

We can’t blame you. The lives of dastardly Blair and Chuck, charming Serena and Nate and inscrutable Dan and Jenny are endlessly appealing. As is the beautiful backdrop of New York townhouses, the hijinks of wealthy, implausibly unsupervised teenagers and all those preppy headbands.

Netflix knows this, which is why they’ve described the series in a hilariously realistic way on their platform. “Rich, unreasonably attractive private school students do horrible, scandalous things to each other,” Netflix’s Gossip Girl tagline reads. “Repeatedly.” 

Are they wrong? Honestly, show me where this description is incorrect. Show me the lie!

The description, shared on Twitter by author Lane Moore, has caused hilarity among fans of the show. “They understand the show in such a profound way it’s almost poetry,” one person commented. “This person clearly loves the show and is still furious about the difference between Blake Lively and Leighton Meester’s careers,” another said.

Others pointed out that this isn’t the first time Netflix has written savage summaries of some of its content. Of The Lost World: Jurassic Park, they said: “You’d think tangling with all those velociraptors would stop them from messing with dinosaurs. It didn’t.”

Of Twilight, it was thus: “Hottest guy in school, eternal devotion and sparkly skin: totally solid reasons to date a vampire. No necking though.” 

Of Man of Steel, they said: “A hero from the stars has a huge challenge. Saving all of humanity? Nope. Keeping his superpowers a secret.” 

No necking in Twilight

Where can we get a job writing these brutally honest descriptions? Because we think we would nail it. Here are a few of our suggestions.

The Princess Switch: The Prince and Me and The Parent Trap walked so this strangely compelling Vanessa Hudgens jaunt about identical cousins – which are totally a thing – could run. 

Queer Eye: A quintet of well-groomed men school Georgians about toxic masculinity, practice the French tuck and eat a lot of avocado.

Ozark: Money laundering is a bad idea and those who engage in it continuously make terrible decisions. Laura Linney, though.

Chef’s Table: The most artfully directed food porn you ever did see but with a very poor ratio of male to female chefs.

Outlaw King: The objectively best Hollywood Chris puts on a Scottish accent to play one of the country’s most revered leaders who also happens to be a fan of skinny dipping. 

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before: The most perfect piece of pop culture ever created that will make you want to be a teenager again. Alternative title: I love you, Peter Kavinsky.  

Images: CW 

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Hannah-Rose Yee

Hannah-Rose Yee is a writer, podcaster and recent Australian transplant in London. You can find her on the internet talking about pop culture, food and travel.

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