Secrets are power

Let’s not beat around the bush – sharing secrets can be fun. Seeing your friend’s eyes light up as they learn a tantalising new piece of information is addictive and a little thrilling. But sharing information can actually, in some cases, be a means of survival. In certain situations, information really is power. For instance, you might decide to share a “secret” about your salary or about an uncomfortable interaction with a colleague with a work friend. While these secrets may seem like mere gossip, this kind of sharing is actually about keeping each other informed in a practically supportive way.

Secrets help us form a bond

Sharing a secret with a friend is an act of intimacy. It’s a signal of trust. When you confide in a friend, especially when you choose to share personal secrets, you are signalling to them that you value their friendship and support and trust them with sensitive information.

“We are social beings, and sharing information, especially secrets, can create a sense of intimacy with other people,” says Molloy. “This need or desire for social bonding can make it hard to keep a secret to yourself.”

Why is it so hard to keep a secret? A psychologist explains the compulsion to gossip