A fear of success can freeze you in place and prevent even the smallest step forward. It’s nigh on possible to achieve all you’re capable of if you don’t unlearn this anxiety first. So how do we do that?

Notice and identify your fear of success

“Noticing that you have a fear of success is a powerful first step,” says Barnum-Bobb. Carve out some time to really analyse your thoughts and behaviours. Question what’s holding you back – do you have some unhelpful ideas about what success will mean for you? If so, call those out.

Write down how your fear of success is affecting you

It’s worth identifying exactly how your fear of success is showing up.

Barnum-Bobb suggests: “I would start to explore what limiting beliefs you’re carrying around succeeding and make a note of how they’re affecting your behaviour. Are you procrastinating? Playing small? Are you telling yourself that you can’t handle it?”

Find positive success role models

Barrett recommends: “Don’t look at other people that reinforce your fears. Find people to be inspired by who have the type of success you want, without the negative consequences. They’re always out there when you go looking.”

Challenge yourself to think of success in a new way

Go through your beliefs about success and challenge them with an alternative view. Let’s say you think success means sacrifice – what if you think about all the things you’d gain, instead?

Find your why and keep it with you

Apologies for the big questions, but what do you want and why does it matter to you? This is something you need to figure out. Find your ‘why’, then keep that as your mantra for any time a fear of success threatens to throw you off-course.

“Ground yourself in your ‘why’,” says Barrett. “Make your ‘why’ bigger than your ‘why not’.”

Get comfortable with change

Often, a fear of success is a fear of change. We like our comfort zone – it’s warm and cosy in here. But to reach the heights you really, truly desire, you’re going to have to accept some changes to what you’re currently doing and how you’re living.

“Know that change is a certainty of life,” says Barrett. “Regain some autonomy over a situation that might feel out of your control by seeing change as certain rather than something to try and avoid. This will help you find proactive solutions instead of allowing any problem to hold you back.”

Show yourself kindness

“The fear of success can be a pervasive and vicious cycle which can seem difficult to get out of or unlearn,” notes Shonubi. “Unlearning and healing from this will take time and patience.”

Don’t beat yourself up for finding this tricky.

Visualise success

Barnum-Bobb tells Stylist: “I love to use visualisation for myself and with my clients as a tool to reprogramme limiting beliefs such as a fear of success.

“Close your eyes and imagine everything went perfectly. What would that look like? How would that feel? What would that unlock? How would that change your actions now?

“Allow yourself to get out of your logical, thinking mind and tap into the positive potential, doing this as often as you need it and knowing that when you do, you’re strengthening new neural pathways that make your default feelings around success more positive too.”

Work with a professional

Success anxiety is a complex thing to untangle. Consider meeting with a therapist or life coach to work through its root causes and learn new ways of achieving what you want.

Barrett recommends “working with a professional to identify where your fears come from and learn practical coping skills to help you manage the fears and believe in your ability to cope with any change”.

“As success anxiety is a fear deeply rooted in the unconscious, embarking on therapy with an experienced therapist can help you identify where it is rooted,” adds Shonubi. “Therapy will help you to explore and acknowledge how it manifests and how it is triggered.

“When this is acknowledged and understood, the journey of healing and unlearning begins.”

Held back by your secret fear of success? Here’s how to overcome it