First things first: we’ve got to accept that not all complaints have to be a bad thing. In fact, complaining can serve a useful psychological purpose for you, the complainer.

“Complaining can be a cathartic process allowing us to express our feelings,” explains Kamalyn Kaur, a psychotherapist and anxiety expert. “It can help us to feel heard, seek solutions, and it can be our way of taking control over a situation that we feel hasn’t been fair.”

Dr Marianne Trent, a clinical psychologist and author of Talking Heads, agrees: “Complaining can be good for us when we are recognising and processing our angry feelings in an adaptive and mindful way. This allows it to be resolved and frees us up to live in the moment rather than getting stuck in our bodies and our minds as anxiety, stress and dissatisfaction.”

Aim for clear, controlled complaints

Fox Weber advises that it’s important to contain a complaint, though. “You don’t have to say everything to get your point across. Clarity about your message is enormously helpful. Above all, respect is essential. Even if you feel disrespected, it’s always possible to communicate with respect – it’s dignified and worthwhile, whatever the response.”

Too scared to complain? Here’s how to do it without seeming rude or unreasonable