You notice that the individual is starting to disengage

There’s a lot of strain involved in putting up a false front. It can be not just physically exhausting to control your body’s response to someone, but emotionally draining too.

And that’s when people begin to retreat back into their own space, according to Krauss Whitbourne. Fidgeting, wandering eyes and reducing their responses to umms and ahhs are all a sign that the other person is mentally checking out of both the conversation and the emotional performance.

“For women, it may be particularly disheartening to have to keep acting in ways that they think conform to a stereotypically gendered female role. If it’s honesty you’re after, consider the possibility that you’ve been placing unfair expectations on the other person,” she adds.

Emotions are complex things. Sometimes they mislead us, and sometimes we just flat out ignore them in place of how we think we should be reacting. And while some may consider surface acting akin to lying, it’s often a harmless response to the social constraints placed on us.

However, if someone you care about forms a continuous pattern of masking their true feelings, an open conversation about the importance of emotional honesty might be the key to beginning a deeper and more meaningful relationship.

Surface acting: how to recognise if someone is faking their emotions