You are a badass: 7 ways to stop doubting your greatness and live your best life

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The Stylist web team
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Everyone has an idea of how they want their life to be. Some are even well on their way. But many of us still have a little way to go until we get there, plagued by imposter syndrome or stuck in a job that isn’t quite right for us and chained to high rents destined to be a wage slave. So, we beat on. Perhaps we weren’t really destined for that dream job anyway. Well, that’s exactly where we’re wrong, according to You Are a Badass author and life coach, Jen Sincero...

We often fear that making big, positive changes in our lives will involve doing loads of stuff that’s really hard and fun-free, or that it will take forever, be overwhelming, confusing, or, you know, impossible. The good news is that making the smallest little switches in your mindset, and, as a result, your actions, can have gigantic results.

Here are seven simple ways to be your most badass self:

1) Decide to change your life

There’s a big difference between wanting to change your life and deciding to change your life. Wanting can be done sitting on the couch with a cooler full of beer and a travel magazine in your lap. Deciding means going after your dreams no matter what - there are no excuses, there’s no back door out, no Plan B. When you decide to be the biggest badass you can be, as soon as it gets expensive or hard or you put yourself at risk of looking like a moron, it means you keep going and you figure it out instead of finding excuses to back down.

Get clear on the specifics of why you want to be, do or have something, get all worked up emotionally about the specifics, focus on these specifics and soak in the emotion of excitement around the vision of your new life on a regular basis – it’s this excitement and enthusiasm that will help you stick to your decision when the going gets uncomfortable (and I promise you, it will get uncomfortable). Once you make that no-nonsense decision, everything else – your beliefs, your thoughts, your actions, your refusal to let your excuses rule your life – all starts working to your benefit.

2) Scare the crap out of yourself on a regular basis

The reason most people don’t create the lives they love is because they refuse to leave their comfort zones. Humans get very attached to the familiar, and we tend to continue hanging out in our comfort zones even if it’s making us miserable. We see it all the time with bad, or even abusive relationships, people who stay in jobs they loathe, people who live in places they can’t stand, etc. We’d rather focus on all the many excuses not to change our lives than get out there and take some risks because we’re so busy fearing the unknown and clinging to the familiar.

To this I say YAWN. If you want to change your life, you need to use fear as your compass, not your brick wall. If you come up with an idea that excites you (dump your boring significant other, quit your job, start the business of your dreams, finally book a gig to sing on stage) and it scares the crap out of you, this fear is an excellent sign that you’re headed in the right direction. If what lies before you is ho-hum and not terribly scary, it’s not going to get you very far. When it comes to changing your life, if you’re not scared you’re doing something wrong.

3) Focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want

What you focus on you create more of. It’s like when you’re looking for a house to buy – once you focus on finding a place to live you suddenly start seeing for sale signs in all these places you never noticed them before. Meanwhile, the signs were there the whole time, but because you’re now focusing on finding a place to live, you start pulling these signs into your consciousness. Same goes for what you want and don’t want in life – if you focus on how hard it is to make money, how confused you are, how you always date idiots, you will continue to find proof of these things. Focus only on that which you desire and you’ll start pulling the opportunities, connections and inspiration into your consciousness to create it. Seek and ye shall find. For reals.

4) Hang high

If you want to be the best you can be, hang out with other people who are totally going for it, who show you what’s possible in life and who cheer you on (rather than smear doubt, fear and worry all over you) for taking great leaps towards your dreams. The people you surround yourself with greatly effect how you think and act and what you believe, so if you hang around a bunch of sad sacks who constantly whine, who behave like victims to circumstance and who focus on why they can’t be, do and have what they desire, you will find yourself following suit. If you hang out with people who believe anything is possible, who offer you support, who do a cartwheel of celebration every time you open your mouth, you will fly much higher. 

5) Remember done is better than perfect

Waiting until everything is perfect before you launch that website, quit that soul-sucking job, book that gig, go on that trip, do whatever quasi-intimidating thing it is that will radically improve your life, is a gigantic waste of time. Because here’s the thing: There’s no such thing as perfect. And here’s the other thing: There’s a very fine line between perfection and procrastination. Getting everything nice and tucked in and tidy before taking a leap is a great way to put off doing it at all. Instead of being overly precious, do your best, educate yourself, prepare until it’s good enough then take the leap and figure it out as you go. There is no better teacher than experience, and you will learn a hell of a lot more by taking action than sitting around in your living room trying to figure everything out before you take your first step.

6) Go to the Spiritual Gym

Motivation, confidence, sticking to your resolve around your decisions are all muscles that need to be strengthened. Just like going to the gym keeps you in physical shape, going to what I call the spiritual gym keeps you in badass shape. Read books that inspire you, meditate, say affirmations like “I am awesome and I can do anything,” over and over in your head, in the car, in the mirror, listen to music that makes you feel like you can flip over a car. The key is to find specific things that light you up and make you feel like you can do anything, and then making it a habit to do these things every day. Even fifteen minutes a day makes a huge difference.

7) Be your own advocate

You are the only you that is and that ever will be. Who you are is your secret trump card and you are the only person who can play it. Shamelessly and boldly allowing yourself to speak your truth, to do what you’re good at, to love what, and whom, you love, to enjoy life in whatever way you most enjoy it and to just generally be whomever the hell you happen to be is one of the most powerful things you can do. Because when you allow yourself to shine brightly as the most authentic and fully realized version of yourself, you enjoy your life a whole lot more, make yourself visible and available to all the things, circumstances and people who are trying to find you, and you automatically empower those around you to be badasses as well.

There’s nothing more inspiring than seeing someone who is going for it, who allows themselves to be and have whatever’s in their hearts, and who loves their own beautiful, badass and flawed self. You’ve got one shot at being the you that is you on planet Earth. Why not make it as awesome as you possibly can?