In the end, I didn’t leave for myself. not even when I found out he’d been having a five-year affair. His aggression was becoming more tangible – he was punching walls, pounding tables. And then one day he got annoyed with our eldest son, James, seven, and pushed him so hard that James crashed into a banister and broke it.

Then, months later, he had another rage. only this time he flew at me too. ‘Hit me!’ I screamed. In a warped way, I wanted physical proof. He didn't hit me, but admitted that he was close to it. When I told him to leave he did.

He returned the next day to talk his way back in. He even suggested we go for couples counselling. He told the counsellor that we had ‘a few issues’ that I just couldn't ‘get over’. When I told my side of things – as everything came tumbling out – he wept in front of her. Then as soon as we walked out of her office door, he sniffed, shrugged, and handed me his wedding ring, ‘Well, I guess that means we’re over,’ he said.

Nine months later, I am determined to move on and have started to recognise myself again. I no longer believe I am boring and stupid and I am retraining as a teacher – when I’d first suggested this idea to my husband, he just gave me a look and carried on watching TV.

But I can’t imagine ever being in another relationship. I can only think, ‘You’re nice now, but when will the real you emerge?’ I hope that changes. If physical scars fade, perhaps emotional ones can too."

If you know someone who is being abused, keep talking to them, as many women in abusive relationships become isolated. Suggest places that provide help and support, such as womensaid.org.uk

Interview by: Katie Mulloy. Photography: posed by models, Getty Images, Rex Features. *names have been changed

"I was emotionally abused for 10 years"