It’s now months later and I have used this immense low as the urge I needed to make some radical changes to my life. I took the entirety of December off work to recalibrate, quitting my job and going freelance to have more control over my hours. I’m prioritising myself more, ensuring I have non-negotiable time alone carved into my week. My husband and I are communicating better. I’m letting go of my passive aggression and being more direct with what I need.

The biggest change for me, though, is accepting and asking for help more readily. I’ve found this hard to do in the past as I have felt like a failure if I can’t do it all. But my experience of miscarriage has taught me I can’t do it all, and people really do want to help. These tiny, incremental changes have helped in mammoth ways. My anxiety has been tempered, my eczema has cleared, my shoulders have descended back to where they should be, I’m less angry and I’m only crying at appropriate moments.

Aside from these smaller lifestyle changes, I have also started therapy and I’m even working with a life coach, something I never thought I’d do. I’ve learned that I can’t look after anyone properly if I’m not looking after myself. You really do need to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.

Out of that dark pit of despair, I am hopeful that one day in the not-too-distant future I will look back and be able to say that if the miscarriage hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be where I am today, and I will smile in thanks to that baby who never was.

Despite most people knowing that one in five pregnancies end in miscarriage, for some reason it is still a taboo subject. And once the dust has settled, there rarely feels like an appropriate time to bring it up. How do you drop the topic of baby loss into a conversation? Despite this, over the past few months, I’ve mentioned my miscarriage and, in turn, I’ve heard the stories of others. It doesn’t make it hurt any less, but it has felt cathartic and has removed some misplaced shame I have felt. I want women – and men – to be able to talk about their experiences more openly, so if one day someone finds themselves going through it, they don’t feel alone.

“My experience of a missed miscarriage changed everything – we need to have the space to talk about baby loss”