Don’t get a Londoner started on what is annoying about public transport.
For us, bus and Tube gripes are right up there with people employing their favourite tone of disbelief, pleasure and self-congratulation for the not-at-all-overdone: “How much? You could get a castle in [anywhere not London] for that.”
See also: “Nobody says hello in London.”
However, someone saw fit to open that very can of worms for a YouGov survey, and the results are in.
The most annoying Tube behaviour ever, according to weary Londoners?
That moment when you’re waiting to get off the train and the second the doors open, someone on the platform barges their way on first.
Equally irritating whether at rush hour (in what world is this going to help anything?) or when it’s totally empty (WHY BOTHER), such a move is arrogant, redundant and guaranteed to turn the most timid of commuters into a seething ball of rage.
A huge 90% of Londoners questioned said the habit was some level of annoying, with 61% saying it was “very” annoying.
In fact, the second and third most annoying Tube habits also involved inhibiting our ability to get on and off a train, with not getting out of the way of people getting off coming in at number two, and trying to push ahead to get on at number three.
The survey questioned 1,513 adult Londoners who use the London Underground system. Other annoyances included leaving litter (is this your home? Or a bin? No? Get off then), not moving down (oh as long as you’re alright, Jack) and playing music out loud (again: not your house, but a public form of transport carrying many other people with ears and their own taste in music).
Coming in at seven is not standing up for pregnant, elderly and disabled people – 81% rated this as annoying behaviour. Funny how it always seems to be more than 29% conveniently asleep or suddenly completely unaware of their surroundings when someone does need a seat, eh?
Smelly food, manspreading, loud headphones, backpacks, bags on seats and demanding people move down when there is clearly no space also all made an appearance on the list.
The survey showed some evidence of a gender divide when it comes to transport irritations too – actions that disproportionately affect women, such as being stared at and manspreading, were obviously rated as annoying by more women than men.
See the full list below (if it doesn’t raise your blood pressure too much).
Images: iStock / Rex Features / YouGov