Just like there was once only one Barbie, there was once only one Ken. For years, Mattel’s main man-doll was exclusively blonde, blue-eyed and tanned, with a muscled physique and the sort of blandly handsome face you’d struggle to remember if he ran you over with a bus.

But in today’s inclusive, body-positive age, one version of Barbie’s boyfriend is not enough. Following the launch of diverse female dolls in 2015, Mattel has just unveiled a line of new Kens in a range of body types and skin tones – as well as startlingly ‘hip’ wardrobes and hairstyles. (Five words: mirrored shades and man buns.)

To be fair to Mattel, they’ve done a decent job of recreating various ‘types’ of modern men in tiny plastic form. There’s something eerily familiar about many of the new Kens, as though you might conceivably have met them – or someone very like them – at a party, or in a bar, or at work. Or, because this is 2017, as if you might have swiped past them on a dating app.

With this in mind, we decided to imagine how some of the shiny new dolls might conduct themselves in the murky waters of online dating. Why not count along, and see how many Kens you’ve already collected in real life?

What the new Ken dolls would say if you met them on Tinder