Twitter user Lisette Pylant has set the internet on fire with her true tale of f**kboys and the sisterhood.
Taking to the social media site, Pylant explained that her friends had tried to set her up with a man (who remains anonymous) on her birthday. They arranged to meet at the bar where their mutual friend works – but, 45 minutes into their date, another woman showed up.
Yup, he (easier if we assign him a name for the remainder of this article – Cretin,say?) had double-booked his dates. So, in a desperate bid to get out of the awkward situation, she says he attempted to pass off Pylant as his “friend”.
Pylant played along with the act – until Cretin deemed it safe to go to the toilet.
She and the second woman quickly saw the funny side of the situation and decided to rake Cretin over the coals for his behaviour – something that, at this stage, could still be written off as a genuine mistake that turned into a lie when he panicked. But then things got worse, because that’s when Cretin’s third date of the evening – Riley – walked in.
Pylant and her new friends soon decided that they far preferred one another’s company to the man who’d triple-booked them (go figure) and ditched him, heading out to dinner together at a nearby bar.
And, y’know, they thought it was all over. One guy, three girls = a great anecdote about dating in the modern world.
Except it wasn’t over, according to Pylant. Far from it, in fact:
By this point, the entire internet was hooked on unfolding story – so you can imagine how excited everyone was when a fifth date showed up to meet with Cretin.
Five dates. Cretin managed to score five dates in one night. There’s obviously no rule against keeping your options open, but we’re struggling to understand why he thought he could book them all in back-to-back with apparently barely a breath between?
Well, because he’s a “project manager”, apparently. And he likes to “manage his time efficiently”.
Read more: Do you have dating burnout?
Pylant actually bumped into Cretin later that evening and challenged him over his rather warped dating etiquette.
“He tried to say he was looking for love and his future wife,” she writes. “These ‘weren’t dates’ they were apparently ‘pre-date conversations’.”
Cretin apparently hastily added that he doesn’t even use dating apps, as if that were somehow relevant to the situation.
But, despite this being yet another example of a hugely over-inflated male ego, there is a happy ending to this story.
Except, of course, this wasn’t the end. It’s never the end for Cretin. Because this fab foursome decided to head back to the restaurant and do a little digging – and, yeah, Cretin was on DATE NUMBER SIX.
Obviously, Pylant and her new squad convinced Lucky Lady Number Six to join their winning team – leaving Cretin with (finally) zero romantic prospects and themselves with an awesome new group of friends to hang out with.
All hail the sisterhood. We genuinely can’t wait for this viral tale to be turned into the film it so clearly deserves to be.