"Daddy, look! Tofu's on special offer!"
This is just one of the priceless middle-class musings featured on a Facebook page dedicated to the chatter among affluent shoppers in Britain's poshest supermarket.
Documented by the supermarket's own staff and its more self-aware customers, the page began in April and has already attracted almost 285,000 fans.
It's likely that some of the Facebook comments and the ones posted on Twitter using the hashtag #overheardinwaitrose are not genuine, but they're definitely funny - here are some of the best examples:
- 'Noah! You've had enough Manchego for one day'
- 'No marinated artichokes? It’s like East Berlin here'
- 'Please don't rummage in the reduced bin darling, someone from the golf club might see you'
- 'Darling, do we need parmesan for both houses?'
- 'Pull your trousers up! This is waitrose, not Tesco'
- 'Samantha put that 'essential' stuff down! When I married you we agreed not to compromise on the quality of our balsamic vinegar'
- 'Mummy, are we doing shopping for the boat as well?'
- 'Daddy does Lego have a silent 'T', like merlot?'
- 'It’s not a salad unless it has quail eggs'
- 'The more expensive the mineral water, the more thirst quenching it is. Fact.'