In an exclusive extract from her book, Feminist Fight Club, Jessica Bennett provides a script for those pay rise talks

Say this…

When establishing a number:

“I’ve done some research, and it looks like the typical pay for somebody at my level is ...”
“According to salarygraph.co.uk [source of your choosing], the standard rate is ...” (Makes it about market rates, not what you’re worth. Walk into the meeting well researched.)
“I typically get ...” (Useful because it provides a frame of reference.)

When making your case:

“I feel great about what we accomplished this year.” (Such a team player, aren’t you!) “Based on [insert your best evidence for why you deserve it], I’d like to propose ...” (Still nice but to the point.)
The standard inflation rate is ... Based on my performance over [period of time], I’d like to discuss an increase of ...” (Great, you’ve done your research.)
If you feel you are doing the work of someone at a higher pay grade than you, make that your basis of negotiation. “I’m a second-year associate doing the work of a third year. I’d like to make my compensation commensurate with my output.” Remember: Keep emotions out of it. Stay data driven and fact based.

When it starts to get heated:

“I’m confident we can get to a place we both feel good about.” (Collaborative, not confrontational.)
“I think we are close.” (Stays positive and keeps everyone engaged.)

Don't say this…

“I can’t afford to live in ...” (Your boss doesn’t care.)
“I have student loans.” (Ditto.)
“I’m getting married.” (Nope.)
“I’m trying to get pregnant.” (Noooo!)
“I’ve been working overtime.” (We all work hard.)
“This is what I want and I’ll take nothing less.” (Negotiation is about compromise.)
“I need ...” (OK, but do you really need it? Try “I’d like” or “I propose”.)
“I’m sorry, I just want ...” (Do not – repeat: do not! – apologise for talking about money.)
“I haven’t had a raise/asked for anything since ...” (Complaining will get you nowhere fast. If you really haven’t asked for a raise in five years, mention this after you’ve made the case based on your work.)
“But I’m doing the work of three people.” (If that’s true, then kudos, you’re killin’ it. But try framing this as an accomplishment instead of a complaint. You need a raise to be made “commensurate” with your workload.)

What to say if they say…

“This is higher than what we’ve budgeted for this role.”
“I understand. I also believe I bring more to the table than the average candidate. [Insert how].”
“We don’t think you’re ready for that role.”
“Help me understand what I can do to be ready.”
We are thrilled to offer you (gut-punchingly lower amount than what you wanted)!”
“Thank you so much. I’m really excited about the opportunity, but ...”

“What I’d need to feel comfortable accepting this role is ...”

“If you’re able to match ..., I’d be eager to accept right now.”

“I know that the typical salary range for this role is ..., and I’m really looking to at least match that figure. Are you able to get to that level?”
After an initial round of negotiation: “Unfortunately, we can only go as high as ...”
Stay silent for long enough to take a breath. Then say, “I appreciate your flexibility in trying to make this work. I really want this job, so I’m hoping we can see what we can do to make both sides comfortable.” (No, you’re not offering a back rub, you’re talking about nonmonetary items like stock, flexibility, benefits.) “How flexible are you with [insert benefit]?”

“I understand, and I am eager to accept. I’d like to set up a timeline to revisit the terms again in ... months. Is that something you’re open to?” (Sets a concrete framework for a potential bump.)
After multiple rounds of negotiation: “I’m sorry, but we can only offer ...”
Ask them what they can do to make up the difference. (Again: stock, flexibility, benefits, something else.)

“I understand. What if we set up a timeline to reassess in ... months?

“This is awkward… can I have a pay rise?”: The secret to successful money talks