Pride 2019 is coming; brush up on what not to say.
“Which one of you will have the baby?”
“Which one is the man?”
“Don’t you miss real sex?”
“Do you want a threesome?”
Imagine getting asked this as a heterosexual couple. You’d be fuming. Well, these are just some of the annoying questions that lesbian pairs have to bat away from overly inquisitive – and plain rude – people all the time.
So ahead of London Pride 2019, we decided to pull up an evergreen Stylist video to remind everyone of how to act.
Catherine Bohart and Sarah Keyworth aren’t just comedians who have both enjoyed successful London runs of their breakout shows this year. They’re also partners – and have been since meeting in 2015. By a stroke of programming, they even had back-to-back Edinburgh shows in 2017 (where Keyworth was nominated for a Best Newcomer award).
So the pair are pretty well-placed to make some cutting observations about the most annoying questions they’ve had to field about lesbians during their four years together.
Unsurprisingly, the queries get pretty intrusive. Keyworth and Bohart cite the frequent enquiry of how they have ‘real’ sex as a particular irritant.
“We’ve never had real sex in our whole lives,” quips Bohart.
“Of course to have real sex, one needs a penis.”
“A big strong man,” Keyworth adds.
Apparently, those posing the question are never soothed by the knowledge that dildos are in fact, widely available to buy both online and IRL.
“That does upset them,” laughs Keyworth. “…Which is why we say it frequently.”
They also break down assumptions about gender roles.
“We don’t get [the question of ‘Who’s the top?’] as much as gay men, but it’s still pretty rude,” comments Keyworth.
“Not only does it make weirdly binary assumptions about the roles sexual partners should fulfil, it’s also none of your business,” finishes Bohart.
Correct! Happy Pride, please don’t ask any queer women these questions.