‘Tis the season to gorge ourselves silly on Christmas sandwiches. But, with so many of us WFH during the seemingly neverending coronavirus lockdown, it’s highly unlikely that we’re going to get our mitts on a Pret or M&S sarnie until… well, until 2 December, if Boris Johnson’s promises are to be believed.
With that terrible thought burning in our minds, then, we reckon it’s high time we give our beloved crisp sandwich/butty/sarnie (delete as applicable) a festive update.
And what better way to do so than by turning to the many weird and wonderful crisp flavours that have been unleashed upon the world for 2020?
You know the drill by this point: two slices of soft white bread spread right to the crusts with heavy lashings of real golden butter (you’ll need the lubrication later, trust us).
Give condiments a wide berth – ketchup, mayo and the like will ‘soggify’ (a very technical term) your sarnie and ruin its crispy punch – and avoid adding any cheeses, meats, or other fillings. Purists out there will know all too well that a crisp sandwich doesn’t need anything else: its potato chip filling should do all the talking for you.
And trust us when we say that these festive crisps pack such a big flavour punch you genuinely won’t need anything else. Except, quite possibly, a glass of mulled wine to wash it all down.
Please note that we fully intend to keep this list up to date with new festive crisp flavours as and when they become available.
Walkers ‘The Power Of Sausage Roll’ Crisps
This writer has said it before and she’ll say it again: you genuinely can’t go wrong with Walkers Crisps in a sandwich. And this festive winner – which muddles big bold notes of sage, thyme, and paprika alongside a sausage roll’s classic smoked pork filling – is surprisingly vegetarian. Which means that, yeah, all those on a meat-free diet can enjoy it, too.
Walkers ‘The Power Of Sausage Roll’ Crisps are available in major retailers nationwide, including Tesco, Asda, Sainsbury’s, Morrisons and Co-Op, in 32.6g bags (69p).
Lidl French Camembert With Rosemary & Wild Garlic Crisps
Cheese lovers, rejoice: your favourite flavour has been given a serious upgrade. Rich and creamy enough to satisfy the biggest cheese snobs, garlicky enough to ward off even the most tenacious of vampires, these beauties are delectably moreish. And, yeah, nice and crunchy, too.
Lidl French Camembert With Rosemary & Wild Garlic Crisps are available in 150g bags from Lidl (75p).
Tesco Finest Mature Cheddar & Caramelised Chutney on Crinkle Crisps
Cheddar and chutney isn’t exactly innovative, as far as flavours go, but it’s an undeniable classic. It’s also very festive (my family lives and dies by the cheeseboard on 25 December). And everyone knows that crisp sarnies work best when you add crisps that mimic sandwich ingredient flavours, don’t they?
Throw in the fact that the crinkle-cut makes a satisfying ‘crunch’ when you bite down on it, and you have a very tasty contender indeed.
Tesco Finest Mature Cheddar & Caramelised Chutney On Crinkle Crisps are available in 150g bags from Tesco (£1).
Tesco ‘Free From’ Maple & Bacon Tortilla Rolls
We love tortilla chips as much as the next person, but they just don’t work in a sandwich. Too hard, too messy, too likely to splinter into dangerous crispy shards. Use these guys for scooping a festive chutney-style salsa and leave it at that, yeah?
Tesco ‘Free From’ Maple & Bacon Tortilla Rolls are available in 150g bags from Tesco (£1).
Fairfields Farm Kelly Bronze Turkey Crisps
These crisps bring together a true taste of delicious Kelly Bronze Christmas Turkey, with lashings of sage and onion for good measure. They are, essentially, the secret to recreating that gamey, meaty, and outrageously delicious festive sarnie you’d find in your local Pret, without having to go to all the trouble of prepping a roast turkey and stuffing. Win.
Fairfields Farm Kelly Bronze Turkey Crisps are available in 150g bags from Ocado (£1.99).
Lidl Lobster Cocktail Crisps
Feeling a little more adventurous? Then try indulging in a packet of Lidl’s Lobster Cocktail Crisps. Personally, this writer has never been a fan of shellfish, and she stands by her assertion that prawn and lobster cocktail flavours are far too sharp and sweet to make a good crisp sandwich. That being said, though, everyone’s different. If lobster’s your bag, shove it in a bap and do you, I guess.
Lidl Lobster Cocktail Crisps are available in 150g bags from Lidl (75p).
Lidl Festive Pigs In Blankets Crisps
Can anything ever hope to recreate the true majesty of a lightly charred cocktail sausage wrapped in crispy bacon? Probably not, but these come VERY close. And, yeah, they work well in a crisp, too, packing a meaty punch with every mouthful, refusing to overwhelm the senses and making that all-important crunch sound.
Lidl Festive Pigs in Blankets Crisps are available in 150g bags from Lidl (75p).
Kettle Christmas Truffled Cheese And Sparkling Wine Crisps
In this writer’s honest opinion, Kettle chips are too thick, too crunchy, too delectably posh to ever belong in a crisp sandwich. That being said, though, this is a time for indulgence. And, considering these crisps a) actually taste like rich, earthy, nutty truffle (overwhelmingly so) and b) enjoy a fun sparkling sensation thanks to the addition of Winbirri’s speciality wine, they certainly fit the bill when it comes to luxury.
That being said, though, they’d probably work better in a little bowl next to your crisp sandwich. As a sort of… well, as a sort of decadent post-sarnie snack. Your call.
Kettle Christmas Truffled Cheese And Sparkling Wine Crisps are available at retailers nationwide, including Sainsbury’s now, in 32.9g bags (£1.99).
Images: PR supplied