From Disney films to HBO’s Sex and the City, we’ve long been peddled the idea of a romantic happy ever after: we’ll find The One, lock lips, settle down, and remain together in blissful happiness for as long as we both shall live.

Only it isn’t quite like that, is it? Because love – real love – takes work. Sure, it’s wonderful, and you get to know the ins and outs of that special someone. And, in turn, they get to know e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g about you as you relax into showing off your most unfiltered self yet.

But with honesty comes all those nitty-gritty details. You have to deal with the fact that they spray crumbs all over your flat whenever they so much as glance as a piece of toast, that they use the chair in their bedroom to store all of their dirty clothes, and that they never replace the toilet roll once they’ve used it up.

Worst of all, of course, is the fact that they know exactly what to say to push your buttons – which can make for some seriously intense arguments.

As marriage and family therapist Hal Runkel puts it, “no one can touch you like the one you expose yourself most to, but no one can hurt you like the one you expose yourself most to.”

Relationship expert reveals the one word that can defuse any argument