Maintaining their privacy with a series of hilariously odd usernames, these men and women have laid themselves bare (almost literally) for our education and entertainment, detailing some of the most ridiculous things that have ever happened to them in bed.

It all kicked off when Reddit user Dafuuuuq asked the internet at large: “What is a big NO-NO during intercourse?”

Cue a plethora of anecdotes, ranging from the practical (never handle spicy peppers before handling genitals) to the downright bizarre (two words: circus music).

We’ve rounded up just a few of our favourites, and we hope that none of these have happened to you. If they have, though, fancy going for a drink after work and spilling the details...?

1) Gauge your dirty talk success rate

If talking dirty is your vice, go forth and be filthy you little minx – but just make sure the receiver is on the same page. Because. as clockworkwalrus knows, if they’re not it can kind of kill the mood.

“My boyfriend asked me ‘How much cock do you want?’ or something along those lines,” the Reddit user recalls. “I think he wanted me to say ‘all of it’ but I took him seriously, thought about it, and said ‘three quarters’.”

The 10 most ridiculous things to ever happen during sex, according to Reddit