My partner and I have very different relationships with social media. I spend what could politely be described as too much time on Instagram, could easily talk you through the most explosive Twitter argument of the day, and regularly check Facebook for event invitations and viral articles. Sometimes social media makes me feel stressed, sad and envious; at other times it makes me laugh, learn and connect with others. But for better or worse, it’s an integral part of my life.

As a result, I post about my boyfriend on social media. Not loads, not constantly: my feeds aren’t filled with date-night selfies, boasts about ‘the boy’ having ‘done good’, or teary rants about arguments we’ve had. But I might tweet something funny he’s said, or post the odd photo of him on Instagram (always accompanied by a sarcastic caption, just in case anyone thinks I’ve turned into a smug loser – which, to be fair, is probably spectacularly irritating in its own special way). He’s a big part of my life, and I document (some of) my life on social media. So it feels natural to post about him.

My significant other, in contrast, is not tangled in the weeds of social media. He has never had a Twitter account, and responds to my breathless stories about political tweetstorms, influencer backlashes and celebrities being ‘cancelled’ with affable indifference. His friends haven’t posted photos on Facebook since about 2014. He uses Instagram to follow accounts about nature, science and art, and will occasionally share a caption-free picture of the sky, but that’s it. Apart from on Facebook, where we appear in a handful of tagged photos together, I do not feature on his social media feeds at all.

How romantic relationships can be affected by what we share online