“Choosing to have a baby is a big decision,” explains Hayward. “When it involves someone else carrying your baby the weight of responsibility can feel enormous. Not only the practical and physical decisions play a part – who to choose, where is she located, age, appearance – but emotions can be a real rollercoaster.

“For most women it’s understandably important to like their surrogate and feel there’s some common ground. Many women can feel like a failure when she cannot carry her own baby due to medical reasons. Relying on a stranger for this very personal journey often brings up feelings of resentment. It’s vital to address these emotions and to feel at peace with the choices and decisions made.

“Working with a surrogate and bringing another person into the very intimate journey of having a baby can bring up many challenges and questions,” she continues. “The most common are: ‘Is it right to do this when there are so many children to adopt?’, ‘how will the baby be affected?’, and ‘will I be able to bond with my baby?’ All are valid concerns but the stress can be eliminated to create a wonderfully positive outcome.”

“For the surrogate the emotional impact centres around the attachment formed during the pregnancy and then relinquishing the baby,” agrees Dr. Baker. “Surrogates often report a mix of emotions, but an overwhelming sense of joy for the adoptive parents, knowing the happiness the arrival this baby brings.

“They often talk about a sense of positive detachment from the baby they are carrying, knowing that it isn’t theirs still allows sensitivity to the tiny human developing inside them, making relinquishing them much easier than one might think.

“For the adoptive mother the feeling can be a mixture of relief, joy, happiness that their long awaited baby has finally arrived, and overwhelming gratitude to the surrogate,” Dr. Baker continues. “For some women there may be an element of guilt they were unable to carry their own baby, yet this rarely becomes a long lasting emotional state.”

These are the emotional ups and downs of surrogacy, according to experts