“Am I missing out?”

“I’ve been with my boyfriend since university and he’s the only person I’ve ever slept with. While I love him, I worry that I’m missing out as I feel jealous about my friends’ stories of wild sex with men they’ve just met. It’s got to the point where I’m fantasising about someone I work with. Is this normal?” Worried, 27, London

●Anita says: While it’s very normal to romanticise about single life when you’re in a relationship (and vice versa), fantasising about another man could indicate that your worries go deeper. If you’re just a bit bored, rebooting your sexual and emotional relationship can be achieved with lots of talking and remembering why you fancied each other in the first place. That said, none of that will work if you’ve fallen out of love. Be 100% honest with yourself and work out whether this is a simple case of ‘What if..?’ or something more serious. Only you can say.

“I want more than friendship”

“I’ve recently developed feelings for a close male friend I’ve known for 10 years. Friends always say we’d make a good couple but I have always dismissed it until now. We’re both single, so how can I find out if he feels the same way without risking our friendship?” Desperate, 36, Kent

●Nick says: You’re overthinking it. You ask yourself a million questions and throw up a million doubts. Then you amplify these worries when you kick them around with your friends. Sure, your mates will have helpful insights, but no-one knows what’s going on inside his head, except him. You’ve been mates for 10 years. Doesn’t he deserve your honesty? Do you really think he’ll run screaming for the hills if he hears you like him in a deeper way than ‘just friends’? And who knows – he could have had the same thoughts and feelings himself. Good luck.

“She's making my life hell”

“I recently got a great new job. The only problem is my colleague – who applied for the same position as me and didn’t get it – seems set on making my life hell by undermining me in front of others, and conveniently ‘forgetting’ to invite me to social events. How should I handle her?” Stressed, 28, Nottingham

●Anita says: You have to deal with work bullies head on. The more this woman gets away with her harassment, the more she’ll do it so don’t ignore her. Nip what’s happening in the bud by asking her to stop or having an informal word with your line manager. Keep a diary of what’s going on as it will be useful if you decide to take more formal action. Outside of work, tell your friends what’s going on as the stress can seep into the whole of your life, so their support will be important.

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