10 things you’re guaranteed never to say on your commute

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Susan Devaney
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Because taking public transport every day is hard… 

Oh, commuting. Sure – compared to many other places around the world, the UK’s public transport system is relatively good. But with so many people trying to get to their workplaces at the same time every morning and evening, commuting can really get the best of you.

From sweaty armpits in your face (a common issue for us smaller women) to crying children and manspreading, making our way to the office in the morning can be a trying time.

And then there’s always that one person who’ll happily sneeze all over you – and everyone else in the carriage. Oh, and not forgetting the individual plonked in the middle who’s selfishly blasting the latest chart-climber for all to hear (whether we want to or not).

Earlier this year, as part of a survey, over 3,000 Londoners were asked to comment on their happiness levels to create a picture of what’s keeping us sweet in the capital. The research found that although those who were sexually active reported boosted happiness levels, those that had a commute of between 15 to 30 minutes had the highest happiness levels of all. And as it turns out, we’d pick a pleasant and shorter commute over sex any day.

But fear not, because there’s always the possibility that you’ll meet the love of your life while making your way along the Victoria line or hopping on the bus back home after a long, hard day.

In the meantime, let’s look at the funny side of commuting. Watch our video above as actor and writer Shelley Davenport pinpoints 10 things you’ll never ever say on your commute – from complimenting a man on his body odour to swooning over a crying baby. 


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Susan Devaney

Susan Devaney is a digital journalist for, writing about fashion, beauty, travel, feminism, and everything else in-between.