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This is the most romantic thing you can do for someone, according to a relationship therapist

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Emily Reynolds
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Ever had an argument with a partner about something ridiculously meaningless? Us too. But this relationship expert thinks those moments may hold the key to true romance…     

We all have those ridiculously unreasonable things that push our buttons no matter how hard we try – and sometimes, when we get stressed and irritable about them, it can end up in some pretty overblown rows with our partners. It goes without saying that this can be incredibly detrimental to a relationship –  who wants to bicker all the time? 

But according to relationship expert Laura Berman, the most romantic thing you can do for someone can actually be prompted by one of these trivial rows. 

When your partner is stressed about something seemingly small, Dr Berman told PopSugar, it can be easy to just dismissively ask “what’s the big deal?”.

But if something’s important to someone – no matter how ridiculous it might seem to you – this response can just feel like “a slap in the face”. 

Instead, you should “facilitate and assist” in soothing your partner’s anxieties. “So, even if you don’t know why every candle in the house has to match, if you facilitate and assist, then that is an act of real love and romance,” Dr Berman explains. 

You may not understand exactly why your partner is so upset about something – but realising that it’s important to them is a way of showing you’re “engaged and invested in it”.  These acts of appreciation may be small, but Berman argues that they’re far more important than flashier expressions of love. 

And what should you definitely not do? “Try to talk your partner out of it”, even if you think they’re overreacting. Instead, “put aside your own opinions on something your partner clearly does care about”. 

“It’s really important that each of you take responsibility for the bar that you’re setting and the unnecessary stress that you’re creating,” Dr Berman explains. 

So next time your partner is freaking out over a wonky picture frame or panicking that you’re going to make them late, take a deep breath and remember Dr Berman’s advice – it might be the most romantic thing you’ve ever done. 

Image: Toa Heftiba / Sept Commercial