Amy and Alex Fletcher

Amy, 35, and husband Alex, 31, from Sheffield, took SPL for their first-born Matilda, two, and plan on taking it again with James, five months.

Amy says: “With Matilda I took off 10 months, then Alex took over for the last two. I’m not career-focused, so we did it as we thought it was a good idea to share responsibilities both at work and at home. It was only fair he got the chance to see Matilda develop, too. It helped us understand each other and what it’s like looking after her all day.

We got a real insight into the different challenges. And a positive thing was me being able to leave Matilda with her dad when I went back to work rather than put her in childcare, because to leave Matilda in nursery or with a childminder while I was transitioning back to work might have been difficult.

By the time we’d both returned to work, Matilda had spent a bit of time away from me, so that transition was easier for everyone.”

Alex says: “The main thing for me was to build a relationship with my daughter. I don’t subscribe to traditional gender roles; I believe we should all muck in together. It’s not productive to say, ‘This is your role within the house.’

My dad wasn’t around when I was younger, so I wanted to be involved with the children. I’d like them to be as happy spending time with me as they are with Amy.

It gave me an understanding of what Amy had been doing. You can’t appreciate what it’s like when a small child refuses to settle and you’ve got to make dinner and get everything sorted around the house until you’ve experienced it.

In fact, I said to one of my colleagues that in some ways, staying at home with the kids can be more challenging than going to work, and he didn’t quite get it. Some days things go well and other days, not so much. Which is why Shared Parental Leave has given me much more confidence as a father.”

3 couples tell us how Shared Parental Leave has helped shape their lives