Has 2018’s chronic personalisation given us a fear of ‘settling’ with a bog-standard issue mince pie? When did it become passé to serve traditional and simple Christmas fare at Christmas? Where did it all go wrong?

Yes historic pedants, I hear your cries. The original mince pies did in fact contain real meat mince: typically mutton or beef. But that was 1591, and for the most of the twentieth century, the recipe has firmly listed raisins, currents, brandy and mixed peel. So even that traditional recipe evolved (happily, because eew).

It’s not just the mince pie, either. My desk mate and Stylist associate editor, Anna Fielding, received a lovely Irish cheddar last Christmas. So far, so good. Until she realised it was lemon and gin-flavoured. Safe to say that cheese’s wax remains firmly sealed.

"Enough with the gimmicks: can we just leave Christmas food the f**k alone?"