1am: Sub editor Lucy crashes out after her live book wars reading

Stage 7: Hysteria

You’ll be familiar with this sensation from sleepovers when you were 12 and you all became so overtired you’d either start giggling uncontrollably about something like a mispronounced word, or, if things took a more sinister turn, scaring each other witless with stories of ghosts in the wardrobe. It’s 4am and we’re there. Suzanne Scott who works on the beauty desk tells us that out of all the Disney characters, she fancies the Beast more than the prince he turns into. “Yeah, and the Beast is only like 20,” declares writer Lizzie. “It’s weird.”

The situation isn’t made much more manageable by a 4am ukelele lesson; 12 members of staff are sat in a semi-circle strumming tiny guitars singing Just Wanna Dance The Night Away. Surreal doesn’t come close.

What goes up must go down. And we have come down. A feature hasn’t worked and we need to come up with a new idea fast. “Night fears” shouts editorial director Phil Hilton, giving a clue to the general mood.

And it is a very strange time of night. “You know that point in a nightclub, when you’re like, ‘I really shouldn’t be here?’” says executive fashion editor Kitty McGee as Daft Punk comes on for the fifth time since we’ve been in the office. “That’s what I feel like now.” And she’s right. There’s a feeling that we’re on the homeward stretch but still have to negotiate the taxi home and an uncomfortable, cold wait in the queue.

We have five hours left. People are pale-faced, drawn-eyed and yawning uncontrollably. Contact lenses are coming out, stale make-up is being wiped off, and all sense of looking chic for the cameras seems an alien concept. There is some comfort in the fact that we’re not the fashion team, shooting outside on the streets of London, but it’s still brutally cold. Circles of staff members sit around the gas heaters, like winos standing around trash cans in those Eighties American films. Everyone is cold; everyone is struggling to do their work with any level of efficiency.

“It’s taken a while but I’ve finally hit my slump,” declares beauty Suze. “I can’t write a sentence.” But that’s a problem, as we still have 14 pages to clear. If there’s any time to dig deep, this is it. But we need coffee. Quickly.

"We've all worked for 24 hours"