Day 1 - I posted a photo of me and Mum having lunch together. Then I uploaded a photo of a gorgeous rose from my garden. And by the time I added the third post, I was definitely in a nice feeling. Day 2 was okay, but I struggled to find my third thing, which left me feeling like a gratitude failure. How could I have so much and yet be unable to find just one more thing to be grateful for?

Each day, the app would bleep to remind me that it was time to be grateful. By Friday, I’d developed an allergic reaction to that sound. By Saturday, ‘three things to be grateful for’ had gone to app heaven. What should have made me feel good had the very opposite effect. And there’s only one reason for that.

Being content, motivated or happy is not about forcing ourselves to think more positively. Feeling content or motivated is what we naturally experience when our minds are free and unburdened. And a free mind is readily available when we understand where our feelings are coming from. Let me explain.

Most people agree that their state of mind is crucial for performing well at work. But in my research, when I asked people what most influences their state of mind, I got a raft of reasons including workload, other people, journey to work or finances. And ‘my own thinking/mindset’ was very low down on that list when it should be the only thing on the list. Whilst it seems like there are a multitude of things that affect our state of mind, thankfully this isn't how it works. It’s our innocent misunderstanding that creates many of the problems we encounter.

Ditch the gratitude apps: why positive thinking is outdated