Make your own bloody sandwich.
Quick tip, everybody: possibly sexist jokes are definitely not the way to thank someone for doing something nice for you.
The majority of us know that though. Just as we know to flush the toilet after using it, to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ in polite conversation, to avoid queue-jumping, and to, y’know, basically act like a normal human being.
However, apparently one Imgur user clearly missed out on all of that basic common courtesy stuff.
When their partner made them a sandwich for work, the anonymous poster – known only as ‘volkommenes’ – explained that, rather than saying thanks, they decided to call upon outdated gender stereotypes and refer to her as a ‘sandwich maker’.
Unfortunately for them, however, their wife was unwilling to take the slight lying down. So she got her revenge – and it was brilliant.
When volkommenes bit into their sandwich, they realised that something was… well, a little off.
And, pulling it apart, volkommenes quickly found the source of the problem – as well as a hastily-scrawled note from their badass wife.
“Not sorry,” she wrote, in big black capital letters.
There’s nothing like a hint of Sharpy ink to make your sandwich go down an absolute treat, is there?
The people of Imgur were impressed by the revenge sandwich – although, somewhat unsurprisingly, nobody was impressed by volkommenes’ behaviour.
“Make your own damn sandwiches,” wrote one.
Another, speaking on behalf of everyone on the internet, added: “A friendly reminder for you should do your own s**t.”
One advised: “Don’t ever f**k with the people that handle your food.”
And another correctly pointed out: “You still got a damn sandwich, so stop being such a whiny little baby about it.”
All in all, we’ve learned a few important lessons from this internet tale of woe: firstly, never, ever assume that household chores are gender-specific. Secondly, don’t expect to find sympathy online when you’ve behaved like an absolute ass-wipe.
And thirdly: revenge isn’t necessarily a dish best served cold – but it does come wrapped in plastic. Bon appétit!
This article was originally published in 2017.