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Women are sharing the “funniest” excuses they’ve been given for cheating, and they’re infuriating

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Hollie Richardson
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A viral Twitter thread shows some of the most infuriating excuses people have given for cheating on their partner. 

We can all agree on the fact that being cheated on sucks. So, why do people do it, eh?

According to research conducted by University of Queensland, the top reasons for cheating are feelings of detachment from a partner and low relationship satisfaction. People who have had a high number of sexual partners, or have impulsive tendencies, are also more likely to cheat, apparently.

Eugh. It just feels like no excuse is a good enough one. But it gets worse…

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People are now sharing the “funniest” reasons they been given for being cheated on, after a woman on Twitter asked for their experiences.

“What’s the funniest excuse for cheating someone has given you? I’ll go. My ex told me he cheated on me because I had a driving phobia,” she tweeted.

It clearly struck a chord, as just over 2,700 people have now replied to the tweet.

Many of the answers given are shocking, others are darkly hilarious and some are just really sad. But they can all be described as infuriating. I mean, what the hell is wrong with people?

Let’s take a look at the answers (prepare for plenty of tutting and eye-rolling).

“My ex told me he was sex deprived and scientifically that justified him sleeping around,” replied one woman. Over 5,000 people liked this reply, which means a lot of them no-doubt relate to such an uncceptable – and stupid – excuse. 

“He said he forgot we were dating,” was another popular, and bonkers, reply.

“The other girl bought him a Jimmy John’s sandwich so he had to pay her back somehow,” said an American Twitter user. 

“He said my head was ‘too small’ in comparison to his and he was worried that he’d always have to stand behind me in pictures???” added a very confused soul (we would be confused too).

“She ‘forced him to take her number’ and he ‘only went to the movies with her to tell her he had a gf,’” was another scenario that rings bells for many others. 

“‘You are too easy to love’ and it scared him… I still don’t understand lol,” was another classic excuse.

“One of the many times my ex cheated on me, he told me ‘she has the same name as you, I thought it would be a funny story to tell you later on’ it was indeed NOT a funny story,” added another. 

You can read all the replies here.

After reading them herself, one woman just said it like it is:

“The replies to this are fucking astonishing, I am making the public decision to be single for the rest of my life thank you for understanding,” she declared. 

So, for anyone reading this who relates to any of the above, here’s what Sandra Bullock once said about recovering from her husband’s infidelity.

“My life took a trajectory that wasn’t very pleasant,” the actor told The Independent when talking about divorcing her ex-husband last year. “But I feel like it had to happen in order for me to fully understand what family was about.”

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“My life went the way it went because it was supposed to be that way,” she added. 

“Sometimes you have to open up your mind and wait. I can say that, because I see the bigger picture, but when you’re in it, you’re like: ‘When is my family coming?’ I was there. I know what that feels like. 

“And at some point you almost let go of the idea and when you do, all of a sudden the universe goes: ‘Oh you finally let go? Here you go. This is it.’ And you go: ‘Oh my God, that’s more beautiful than anything I ever imagined.’”

We’re confident that all the women who shared their experiences about cheating exes will learn that those relationships definitely were not meant to be – in fact, they probably already know it.

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Hollie Richardson

Hollie is a digital writer at Stylist.co.uk, mainly covering the daily news on women’s issues, politics, celebrities and entertainment. She also keeps an ear out for the best podcast episodes to share with readers. Oh, and don’t even get her started on Outlander…

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