When pondering the kind of gifts one might receive for a first wedding anniversary, you might think along traditional lines and go with something paper-based. A diary, say, or books. Maybe a photo album, beautiful stationery. Paper as a theme is relatively wide-ranging, after all.
Even if you're not exactly the traditional type, it's likely taxidermy did not spring to mind. Badly done taxidermy. Of your favourite animal.
However, that is exactly the gift one lucky, cat-loving woman received – and now she's auctioning it on eBay.
Seller Catherine explains in the London-based listing that she’s selling the “symbol of misguided love” after two years because she’s concerned over the “long-term psychological effects on my two (alive) cats, who have now accepted living with a dead, badly stuffed relative as normal.”
She goes on to say her husband picked up the destined-for-a-skip present from his tattoo artist, presumably thinking that, as a cat lover, she’d be thrilled “because nothing says ‘I love you’ like your favourite animal only dead.”
Now, rather unsurprisingly, Catherine is letting the “probably not haunted” cat – nicknamed Paper – go on to another loving home, to someone who might appreciate its “tragic gaze”.
She writes: “If your home needs a tragic symbol of misguided love – the misguided love of an incompetent amateur taxidermist for a beloved, elderly, scruffy cat or the misguided love of a new husband who thought getting his cat-loving bride a dead one for their first anniversary was a good idea – then please consider bidding.”
Oh, and just in case a terribly stuffed, hauntingly sad version of your beloved pet isn’t creepy enough, the highest bidder can also enjoy pondering whether the patch of shaved skin on one of the legs is “from its final injection”.
At time of writing, dear Paper had attracted bids up to £102. Catherine is donating a percentage of the sale to an animal shelter, and concludes by revealing there are some upsides to such a present:
“My dear husband didn't *just* get me a dead cat for our one year wedding anniversary, he also got me a great story and total freedom from ever having to worry about giving him a dud present because literally nothing could be worse.”
Should you be so inclined, you can bid for the cat here.