Sex advice for men from the women of Reddit

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Megan Murray
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For all the ladies out there that have ever felt frustrated or ignored in bed, we’ve found a Reddit thread that will have you finally shouting ‘Yes’, as the women of the internet let rip on what they wish men would do more of between the sheets.

Unlike Mel Gibson in the 2000 classic rom-com, What Women Want, our sexual partners are not mind readers – so, in a bid to help them out, Reddit user catcuriousity has asked the “women of reddit” what they “wish most men could learn about sex, in order to give you greater satisfaction?”

And, somewhat depressingly, the majority of the replies address the issue of selfishness in bed – in more ways than one. 

From the fairly obvious “skimping on the foreplay”, to feeling pressured to reach an orgasm, it seems as if many purveyors of hanky-panky are seriously lacking in the real skills that are needed to be good in bed – empathy, communication and selflessness. 

Check it out...

1) Never skimp on the foreplay

“The build up is just as good as the finale.”


2) Don’t feel insecure about calling time early, if you have to

“I've noticed that many men are insecure about going soft midway through a sex session - some apologise for it, some call attention to it and insist we move onto something that will correct this issue, some try to ignore it and attempt to stuff an increasingly limp penis into my vagina (dude, that's not going to work. It's OK, just take a break and suck on my goddamn nipples for a bit).”


3) Stop worrying about multiple orgasms

“I wish there was less of a focus on orgasms. Every time I read about a guy who "makes sure she gets one (or two, or ten!) before I do," I shudder. Because, great, now I have to force myself to cum just so that you fucking relax, get over yourself, and have a good time? Yeah, no, that's no fun. If I cum, I cum, if I don't, I don't, but I'd rather we spend time doing what feels good without worrying about checking off the O.”


It may have taken a magic electrical storm but Mel finally learned to listen to the women around him

4) Accept there’s a warming-up period

“Give me some time to warm up and enjoy myself before it's all d**k all the time. Likewise, don't go diving into panties super fast, either. The clothes will come off when I'm comfortable or you get me so horny I must strip.”


5) Not all women are the same

“What gets her off, may not get me off, etc. Communication and exploration is the key especially the first few times with a particular woman.”


6) Be gentle with my genitals

“Don't rub my clit like you're a f******g DJ wannabe. The clit is super sensitive which means you don't need to rub it hard or directly on it (I don't like direct stimulation unless it's super light).”


7) Talk to your lady.

“Enjoy the ride. Stop making it about completing an objective.”


8) Listen to what we tell you – and trust that it’s true

“Believe your partner.”


If there's one gal that knows how to be vocal in the bedroom, it's Samantha Jones

9) Accept that we want safe sex, please

“I don't want to have sex without a condom... being able to relax about STDs and STIs means I can enjoy sex. You may be able to force the issue, like slip the condom off and think I did not notice, but, I am never going to have sex with you again.”


Above all else, these women want their sexual partners to remember that sex is about two people – and both have the right to ask for what they want in bed, let alone deserve to have their needs listened to. 

Fingers crossed that this thread inspires a sexual revolution, eh? 

Images: Samad Jble


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Megan Murray

Megan Murray is a senior digital writer for, who enjoys writing about homeware (particularly candles), travel, food trends, restaurants and all the wonderful things London has to offer.