Essentially, what she’s saying is this: manipulating someone online without giving them your real identity is straight-up catfishing, no matter what the outcome is. Hanks’ Joe is a catfish. Which means that You’ve Got Mail (I’m so sorry Nora Ephron), despite its good intentions, pretty much presents stalking as a romantic aid. That an overly persistent man is something to be flattered by, not fearful of.

And, in doing so, it teaches men like Badgley’s Joe that this sort of behaviour is… well, acceptable, I guess. Damn.

To quote one YGM fan in the thread of comments underneath the Netflix meme that started this entire conversation: “I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW! THAT WAS MY FAVOURITE MOVIE!”

Perhaps we can all take solace in the fact that Hanks’ Joe was always respectful, always willing to remove himself from any situation Kathleen found uncomfortable, and always sought consent. And, y’know, that she did love him back when she got to know the ‘real’ Joe (unlike You’s Beck). Because I, for one, refuse to lump him into the same category as Stalker Joe. It will ruin every Valentine’s Day screening of this romcom forever more.

You’ve Got Mail and Netflix’s You: a disturbing link has been exposed